Please Drive me to School

I was with hubbie this morning and we were trading stories about the old "I used to have to walk to school bothways uphill barefoot in the snow". We were talking with a lady our age about how we did remember walking to school very young and how that wouldn't be done now.

DH told his version of it. I've been with him for 24 years and never heard this story before. He said that his Mother used to send him to the neighbor's houses to ask for a ride to school because his mother did not have gas or money to buy any.

EJ and JB took their kids to a KKK rally

Was talking about one thing then another with hubbie one day. A topic came up of some people who had been convicted many years ago.

Then the topic got to the fact that there had been a KKK ralley in the small town where my Mom used to live. Mom and I had been through there a couple hours before, not knowing what was going on. We saw lots of cops around and wondered what was going on, but kind of forgot about it until that night when we saw on the news that there had been a KKK march through the town.

I then mentioned that it was so sad that lots of little kids are indoctrinated into this.

When I told hubbie about this, he told me that he had been to a "cross burning" in the next county by the KKK when he was a little kid. I said "I bet you were scared." No, his parent had brought him and his sister to it. I was shocked and asked why. He said he thought that they just wanted to know, that everyone went. His Mom, JB and her hubbie EJ broght them because they wanted to go!!!!

His Dad, EJ was one of the biggest racists who I ever know. But I had no idea that he went that far. He said that EJ and JB were never in the KKK. I asked him if he knew anybody who was and he said that he didn't know of anyone.

But it was not exactly common knowledge and not something that everyone wanted to go to. I kind of think I know when it was. My Grandma and Great-Aunt lived about 20 miles from the EJ and JB. I remember them being scared because the "Ku Klux" was around. I remember them looking out the windows and keeping the doors locked. I was a little kid then, so Hubbie would have been too.

Now this was about 30 years ago and true it was "a different time." Still, I cannot imagine that my parents would have ever taken me to anything like that, no matter what their political views would have been. I had been trying to put the EJ and JB nightmare behind me since they are now both dead. I used to feel guilty for not thinking that they have gone to heaven, but the other way. This has added a whole new level of possible disillusionment to my thinking. Not sure if it's disillusionment or validation. Something in between. I knew that they were lazy white trash and racist. I just did not realize to this level. I am glad that hubbie grew past all of that.

The Time JB Gave Me the Finger

I was once visiting JB and her hubbie EJ with with my hubbie. This would have to be before 2002 as I quit seeing them in 2002. I said something that she didn't like. I do not remember what it was, but it was not something that I expected to be taken in any bad kind of way.

She turned around and gave me the finger!

Sad thing is.... that is not out of character for something she would do. I had seen her do this to others -- esp her hubbie EJ (but I never saw her do it to my hubbie, her beloved son.)

I posted this to the support group and the following are some responses that I got:

• What a classy lady your MIL always sounds..............
  
  
• If my mil did that,i would have whipped out my cell fone and taken a photo or vid and shown it to my dh.Or i would have given her the finger back.But knowing me i would have commented about how low class she is for giving someone the finger for no reason and walked away.
  
  
• NM has done this to me. Usually when drunk but also when sober when she was in a particularly jealous and vindictive mood.
  
  
• Well that was mature.
  
  
• klassy.
  
  
• She's a lady, alright.
  
  
• Lovely woman.

The Fish Pond

In the yard there was a "fish pond".

It was an old bath tub filled with water and gold fish. Not an OLD antique bathtub, that would have been bad enough. But just an old used tub that had been removed from a 1960's era house.

Redneck, huh?

JB/EJ's Sense of Entitlement

In one of my early posts and in my header, I wrote of MIL JB and FIL EJ believing that they were entitled to a portion of what their son has. The words "our son" and "have" are words I often heard.

This story is about just how far they felt entitlement -- it went beyond my own hubbie.

Their youngest granddaughter took a job at KFC after she dropped out of high school and got pregnant. She got a bonus award at work for pleasing the secret shopper. I don't remember the amount, but it was at most $100. This was before EJ died since I was there to hear the story and he died after I quit going there. When MIL told us about it she ended it with "You had better believe that she is going to keep that all for herself. Nobody else will see a dime of it." My thoughts -- why would anybody think anything different. It's her money isn't it? She has a baby to take care of doesn't she?

Thing 1 and Thing 2

In my other blog, I talked a little about strange gifts from EJ, my not-so-dearly departed father in law. He thought it was amazing that you could get figurines for only a dollar at the dollar store. So he bought those to give as gifts. Not just one per person, but many many of them. He knew lots of people. For Christmas gifts, he would take blocks of wood, paint them, then glue the cheap figurines onto them. He spent hundreds of dollars doing this, due to sheer quantity. He knew lots of people. He thought somehow that people treasured these creations. I don't even see that you could classify them as redneck. They didn't really make scenes. They were just however many figurines he could glue onto the piece of wood he had.

When he died, there were already a bunch ready for the following Christmas. His family was saying how he already had his Christmas presents ready, that 'he knew he was going to die.' I don't really think so. Because this was not the first time he had done this. He did this every year.

I threw mine in the garbage. But to hubbie, anything, no matter what it was, that passed from his parents hands to his hands was instant treasure, and instant heirloom, so he kept hold of his. I took pictures of a couple of them. I don't know what to call them other than 'thing 1' and 'thing 2'.


Thing 1:



Thing 2:

More About the House

I wrote a new description of the house itself for the bulletin board I go to. This one is not (so much) its condition that included some things not in the previous house postings, so I thought I'd add that here.

JB and her hubbie EJ built it themselves, they weren't builders or contractors. He had help from his Brothers/BIL's/friends who had worked in electricity, plumbing, or whatever.
It has a stupid layout (which has been made more stupid over the years), shag carpet (originally orange, now orange with dirt holding it together), filing cabinets used as furniture and lots of clutter. Also, a bunch of gray metal shelves with useless junk piled on them.

It's a square house. The only room on the ground floor that you can tell what it's for is the kitchen -- sort of -- that would be the room with the sink, stove, refrigerator, washer, dryer, and shower stall, right? The "kitchen" has a shower stall with a moldy curtain in it! There is a working toilet under the stairs (right off the kitchen) but you could hardly get in there for the clutter. All four rooms have exterior exits. (The shower and toilet are what I refer to as stupid add-ons -- but I suppose that at some point you want more than one bath in a house and want one downstairs.) But every kitchen has a shower stall, doesn't it?

As for the stupid layout, with no original downstairs bath, it's not like it's because of age. It was built in the late 60's or early 70's -- from colors in the house, I'd guess the 70's and never upgraded. The house that they moved there from did NOT have an indoor bath, so maybe they did not think they needed more than one and upstairs they put it near where they slept or more likely, where they had room for it. Upstairs is also in quadrants -- three are bedrooms and the fourth is the former bathroom The sink and toilet have for some reason been removed. The tub along with it's glass shower doors is soldered in with mold. There are still pipes in there and part of a sink cabinet, but it's in a different place from where the sink actually was. Hubbie once tried to improve the bathroom. He removed the shower doors and threw them out because they were in such bad conditoin. He replaced it with a curtain rod and a new shower curtain. FIL retrieved the doors and superglued them back in. ( I would almost bet the old mold and soapscum were included int he glue-back-in. But, that's just a guess based on how I knew him, I don't state that they were replaced dirty as a fact.)

The ceilings are 7 feet high. The stairs are shorter than standard stairs then the top step is about a half-height of the rest of them. I never went up them enough times that I ever got up it without tripping on that! There is a bedroom that has orange walls and a yellow ceiling (or vice-versa).

The house was also not heated or air conditioned. It has strip heaters screwed to the moldings. They cut holes in the sides of the house and inserted window unit air conditoiners into them. But of course they cut the holes too big and stuffed the rest of the opening with insulation. They put the air condioners in the wall because they did not want to block the windows. Doesn't sound like such a bad idea, but I don't remember the curtains ever being opened!


The land is in a place that it would not be worth anything in a good economy. I think I described that before. It's between run down commercial property and a railroad track. It's also off the end of a runway, but it's a small town airport with only a couple small planes a day, so the runway isn't that big a deal. {Well, more than I thought, I just looked. It looks like about 15 airline arrivals and 15 departures a day all puddle jumpers. There are 2 airlines going in and out. More of a hopping place than I thought! Plus general aviation and some cargo flights. }


Hubbie says that if it had new windows, exterior siding and heating/ac added it would be a good house! How many times did I say that I am glad we did not inherit it?

Where did the Money Go?

Last Thursday, I was telling my boss about the condition of "the haunted house". He is into building, renovations, and such. As I described it to him, the thought occurred to me...

Just where did all of that money go? JB and EJ (JB's hubbie) called my hubbie whenever they wanted anything or perceived a need, and he usually complied. (Only one exception that I know about**)

He spent tens of thousands on their house. And the place is a dump (reference the posting on my other blog about the Haunted House.) With the exception of the purchase price, we have spent far less money on our house. And ours in a lot better condition. I can just imagine what a nice place our house would be if the money that had gone to JB and EJ's haunted house had been put into our house. We'd have those hardwoods, that redone family room..... things that I just think about but haven't spent the money on.... Our place would be parade of homes quality with all of the money spent on it that was sunk into the Haunted House -- the Haunted House isn't even good enough for a slum house.

*** The only exception was that she was that she wanted him to either install a stair life/elevator or build on a downstairs master suite. He didn't have the money for that without coming to me and he knew better.

How Dirty The House Was: Warning: Gross

It was beyond cluttered. yes, very cluttered. A dirty place is generally cluttered, isn't it. The room that you walked into was the one she used for the dining room. She had to scrape the piles of whatever off of the table to use it.

The whatever included papers, dirty dishes from the previous meal, dirty and/or clean laundry and whatever else happened to need to be dropped on the table.

Most meals were eaten off of this table. It had a ceiling fan over it. The fan and lights looked like they had never been cleaned. A thick layer of dust on the blades and she would run the fan while eating at the table. Of course, dust and cobwebs on the light fixture part of it as well.

In the kitchen, it was gross. There was so much stuff in there that I never saw the kitchen counter while she was alive. Stuff was stacked all the way from the counter to the bottom of the cabinet.

Like in many dirty places, everything had a yellow film of grease over it. Her garbage "can" was actually an open bag hanging on a metal frame (like you sometimes see used for leaf bags). It was not taken outside until full -- and it was a large bag. There were tiny little bugs flying all around it -- like maggots. And of course it smelled bad.

I will probably do a separate post later about food safety. But for now I'll say there was none. She would leave food out an uncovered for hours (recall she has bugst.). People would go by and pick pieces of the food with their hands.

There were roaches all over the house. You would expect that with all the open food and garbage container, wouldn't you? She actually had a fly swatter on her coffee table in the living room. She used that to swat the roaches that walked across the coffee table.

Dishes were only washed occasionally. She would not use the dishwasher that hubbie bought and installed for her because she did not want to hear the noise (after guilting him into getting and installing it). When she did wash dishes, she used cold water because hot water hurt her hands.

She had a chair where she perched herself. It was surrounded by stacks of magazines, containers of snack food, the remote control, etc. (It was a lift type chair. Heaven forbid she exert energy getting her fat a$$ up herself.)

There was something growing in the shower the last time I was there and was brave enough to look in. First time I was there too. That mold was probably the base for the later mold!

The place had its own unique smell.

Somehow reading this, my words do not sound as gross as the house really was.

Things That I will Post here

This post is copied from my other blog, freeofJB.blogspot.com.

I wanted to leave that one to have stuff on it about how I am dealing with the death and loss of JB. I created this one so I can talk about the past instead of the present and issues related to JB's moving on to (yet) another dimension
I started this because I wanted to get all out. The following are some subjects that I will touch on.

• Going out to eat (in public - gasp!)
  
• Them visiting my home
• Disrespect of plans that we already had
  
• Condition of their kitchen
• Setups
• Medical Crying Wolf
• Her total envy of me
  
• Seven deadly sins
• Mis-Treatment of niece-in-law (she obviously hates both women who married into the family)
  
• Their blatant and unashamed racism - they are proud to be racist
  
• Them attending a KKK meeting
• Using racial slurs against their own biracial great grandchildren (and they got the race wrong on top of it)
  
• "Robbing" my Hubbie to pay my SIL
• Lifestyles after I lost my job in the 1990s - theirs and ours
  
• A couple positives
• Family reunions
• Late night phone calls
• What it was like attending the funeral
• What it was like when she was sick
• JB flipping me the bird
• JB making sideways comments about other people which were really comments about me.