Please Drive me to School

I was with hubbie this morning and we were trading stories about the old "I used to have to walk to school bothways uphill barefoot in the snow". We were talking with a lady our age about how we did remember walking to school very young and how that wouldn't be done now.

DH told his version of it. I've been with him for 24 years and never heard this story before. He said that his Mother used to send him to the neighbor's houses to ask for a ride to school because his mother did not have gas or money to buy any.

JB/EJ's Sense of Entitlement

In one of my early posts and in my header, I wrote of MIL JB and FIL EJ believing that they were entitled to a portion of what their son has. The words "our son" and "have" are words I often heard.

This story is about just how far they felt entitlement -- it went beyond my own hubbie.

Their youngest granddaughter took a job at KFC after she dropped out of high school and got pregnant. She got a bonus award at work for pleasing the secret shopper. I don't remember the amount, but it was at most $100. This was before EJ died since I was there to hear the story and he died after I quit going there. When MIL told us about it she ended it with "You had better believe that she is going to keep that all for herself. Nobody else will see a dime of it." My thoughts -- why would anybody think anything different. It's her money isn't it? She has a baby to take care of doesn't she?

Where did the Money Go?

Last Thursday, I was telling my boss about the condition of "the haunted house". He is into building, renovations, and such. As I described it to him, the thought occurred to me...

Just where did all of that money go? JB and EJ (JB's hubbie) called my hubbie whenever they wanted anything or perceived a need, and he usually complied. (Only one exception that I know about**)

He spent tens of thousands on their house. And the place is a dump (reference the posting on my other blog about the Haunted House.) With the exception of the purchase price, we have spent far less money on our house. And ours in a lot better condition. I can just imagine what a nice place our house would be if the money that had gone to JB and EJ's haunted house had been put into our house. We'd have those hardwoods, that redone family room..... things that I just think about but haven't spent the money on.... Our place would be parade of homes quality with all of the money spent on it that was sunk into the Haunted House -- the Haunted House isn't even good enough for a slum house.

*** The only exception was that she was that she wanted him to either install a stair life/elevator or build on a downstairs master suite. He didn't have the money for that without coming to me and he knew better.

The Beginning

Most of the posts here will not be chronological. Many will be of the topics listed in the ideas section. Others will be stuff that I have shared over and over with the MIL support group I was involved in for the last ten or so years.

Hubbie's parents were both high school dropouts. FIL worked doing deliveries until he decided that he wanted to "own" his own store, so he ran a little store for a while.

Hubbie said that they didn't even have indoor plumbing for most of his childhood.

A person who knew Hubbie's family when Hubbie was young said that hubbie was there running the store on his own since he was "just a little thing."

When hubbie was finishing high school, he got recruited into the Air Force to learn Avionics. His parents did not like that. His father even said to him "Why do you want to do that when you can stay here and work at the store.

He went on to the Air Force. But he didn't get to stay long. Before his first term was up, the store was close to "going under". His Dad "wrote" a hardship letter to Hubbie's CO to get him an early release. (The letter was in a woman's handwriting, I have seen it.)

So hubbie left the Air Force and returned "home" to help with the store. He completed his obligation with some reserve duty. After his enlistment was over, he used his GI bill funds to get a technical school degree. (What's now community college). He was not able to find a good job in his home town so he once again moved away. To the city where we both now live which is about three hours away.

Less than six months later, the business went under again.

This time, hubbie went back and took out a consumer loan (high interest, Carter/Reagan error) to pay their way out of debt. As collateral for the loan, his father "sold" him the piece of property he had bought to put a second store on.

At this point, we are up to almost where I came into the picture.

His parents never worked after selling off the store and getting money from hubbie to pay the rest of their debts. His father actually said "I don't see why I should have to work if I can't work for myself as long as I have a rich son."

His son may have been rich by FIL's standards. He was a high school dropout in a family of high school dropouts living in a poor part of the state. But hubbie had a two year degree and moved to one of the areas where there are more PhD's per capita than most of the rest of the country. So he was pretty much average, or maybe a little below here.

Hubbie bought a mobile home to live in. Not a nice one, either. The smallest single wide they make. Cheapest appliances --fridge didn't even have a freezer, just a little ice compartment. Tub but no shower. No AC, no place for washer/dryer. 1 tiny bathroom and 2 tiny bedrooms. He had his clothes on metal shelves. He didn't have a car that would run, either. He got transferred to a job doing service work so he had a company vehicle and he used that for personal travel, too. He did not even have a TV in his trailer (not that it matters about the TV, but the car, AC, washer/dryer are a big deal.) No, he was not rich, but he was making enough money to be living better than that.

He gave his Mom signing privileges on his checkbook. He was paying a lot of their monthly bills. His Mom regularly called with needs and he would say "OK, two hundred dollars", which he meant for her to transfer to her part of the balance in his checking account. We are talking 1986 here, so that would be a lot more money in today's economy!

These demands continued the first five years of our marriage, and were pretty much the only point of contention (other than some housekeeping stuff) between us.

When we got engaged, FIL did tell hubbie "I am going to get a job so that you can have babies." He died 19 years later and that job never came about.