Stories of Various ones of Hubbie's Birthdays

She used his birthday as an excuse to get his attention and get things from him.

This is a post that I made on the support board about some of his birthdays:

She was in the hospital once on his birthday. Do we think it's a coincidence?

One year, I invited SIL for a visit so that DH and SIL could have some brother-sister bonding time. It turned in to a visit from the whole clan -- MIL, FIL, SIL, SIL's DH, SIL's three kids. I silently figured out where I would sleep everyone and bought food for eight people. Then MIL and two nieces showed -- I had cooked a dinner for ten and only had three of the expected six guests show up -- the ones missing were the ADULTS and an almost grown boy. I was so furious that I fed them leftovers the rest of the weekend and froze the rest of the food that I had bought. They stayed several days.

A few years later, I had made the mistake of inviting MIL and FIL over for lunch when DH's birthday happened to fall on a Saturday. I was very specific it was lunch and not a weekend. They complied with that part. She tried to trump me by bringing "the cake." I had already told her when I invited her that I had special ordered a theme cake that DH would like. DH called her that morning that she was coming. When he got off the phone, he said "you don't need to get a cake when you go to the store, M is bringing the cake." The cake was a surprise ordered from a friend who had a business making cakes. She dropped in and delivered the day before and it was well-hidden. I did not tell DH that MIL knew about the other cake. At the party, DH, trying to keep me from looking bad to mommy said "friend made me a cake too....", no mention of me. MIL's cake was a Bundt cake mix cooked in the microwave. Then she had the nerve to bring leftover of the friend's cake home and left the nasty one at our house!

After that year, the ILs started inviting themselves over for lunch the closest Saturday to DH's birthday every year. One year, they had SIL with them. MIL and SIL walked around the house looking at every knick-knack and everything picking it up examining it like they were on a shopping spree. I felt violated that time.

After that, I felt like I had to essentially "child-proof" when they were coming to visit. The next birthday, I put a lot of stuff on the bed in the spare room and locked the door. MIL opened the door with her fingernail I guess. I tried to laugh it off, saying "you're not supposed to be in here, this room hasn't been cleaned." She replied "That's OK, I just wanted to see what you have."

The following birthday, I put everything on the bed again, put a blanket over it and put a box in the room that was in the way of entering the room more than a couple feet -- (because there is a closet next to the door, it's almost like that room has a door-length, closet depth entry way into it. The box was just beyond that. That finally kept her out.

Two years after I cut MIL out of my life, and a year after FIL died, DH said that MIL and SIL wanted to come up on the weekend closest birthday. I told him that it was his birthday, his choice, but I wasn't going to be there. He frowned and said "Why can't they come visit?" I said "They can come visit. I won't be here." I did make plans for a place to be and places to hide the breakables and valuables -- this time under lock and key -- if they came over. But they did not. A visit from them was never mentioned again.

Best I can remember, there were no gifts brought to DH at any of those visits, other than the dry microwaved bundt cake. Oh, we were told we could keep the cake plate. I donated it to some group that was having a yard sale.