She doth protest too much

Well, not exactly, but makes too big a deal about something to be telling the truth. This had to be one where evil-JB and her counterpart evil-EJ together were trying to discredit me. Though I didn't really think about it until later.

They usually visited for hubbie's birthday. This year, they did not, because hubbie had a confict, so a few weeks later, he wanted to go visit them.

They went on and on and on about the birthday card that they sent hubbie. About where they bought it, about when they sent it, about how they had to chase down the mail carrier to get it in the mail in time, about putting extra postage on it to make sure it arrived, you get the drift.

They also were complaining about their mail carrier. (Boils down to that they didn't like him because he wasn't white.)

Finally after about the 15th time they mentioned the card, hubbie said that he didn't receive one. Then when the mail came, Father in law, evil EJ made a big deal about going out to accuse the mail carrier of throwing it away instead of sending it off.

At that point, it had not kicked in what they were REALLY doing. I saw it as them going after the mail carrier because he wasn't white. I took what they said as the truth. I had no idea if hubbie had gotten a card or not until he said so in the conversation. So I popped up and mentioned how the mail on our end is also bad... that we always get mail in our box that isn't ours and the neighbors get ours, and that it was probably at one of the neighbor's houses. That was what it was in my mind at the time.

Then I realized. There was likely never any card. They kept bringing it back up to try to get me in trouble, just like they lied about me withholding phone calls in my "big phone game" post. They part about going after the wrong-race mail carrier was cover. If they weren't trying to make trouble, why did they keep on and keep on bringing up, like 100 times, until hubbie finally said he didn't get the card.

If they were normal people, I'd say that the truth was it got put in the wrong box on our end. However, given the pattern of other things that they did, I think that they were just trying to make trouble. It was probably as revenge for not getting to visit on hubbie's birthday. But hubbie was involved in something of his own that day, he was taking a class that he could only go to on that day or had to wait about three months for.

Something that I realized Years Later

You have to read the last post for this one to be in context: The Big Phone Game

A while after figuring out that the in-laws had been calling the house and hanging up when they didn't hear hubbie, a distant past memory surfaced.

Hubbie was working in Field Service. He had an office, but he wasn't usually there. He was usually on a call or just hanging around home instead. I called him one day when I thought he was at his office. This is in the days before voice mail, secretaries (that was what they were called back then) picked up and took messages if the person didn't answer.

This day he wasn't in and the secretary picked up. When she offered to take a message, I told her who I was and thanked her and said that I would just page him. She responded "well, why didn't you just hang up on me like you usually do?" At the time, I thought, WTF? I thought it was strange, but didn't think much more of it.

Now I realize. MIL hung up when she called the house and he didn't pick up. She was doing the same thing to his secretary!

I did know the secretary back then because I had worked at the company too, but now I don't remember who it was. I almost wish I could go back and tell her that it was evil JB hanging up on her and not me. It had to be, it fits!

The Big Phone Game

I thought I had posted this one, but I don't see it anywhere.

It's about the big lie that JB got hubbie to believe.

Hubbie and I were fighting one night. He accused me of answering the phone when his parents called and pretended that I did not hear anyone. I just figured he was lying and said so. He said, "I have been right in the kitchen with you and you acted like you couldn't hear anyone. I would call them later when you were in the shower and they would say 'I see you got your phone fixed.'"

It was so ridiculous that I just called him a liar and dismissed it. Then I went into the shower. Then I realized what happened. Occasionally, I would answer the phone while fixing dinner and nobody would be there. I assumed it was a wrong number. It was only occasional, not often enough for me to realize it was a pattern.

After that, I put an end to it. If I got a call that nobody said anything, I'd hand hubbie the phone and say "whoever it is won't say anything to me." Since she wouldn't admit what she did, she hung up on him too. If he wasn't home and I got a call, I'd tell him when I got home "Call your parents. " He'd ask if they called, and I would say "Somebody called at 5pm and wouldn't talk to me." He'd get mad and wrinkle his face.

It culminated when the golden grandchild had her first child. Phone rang about 5:30 that day when he wasn't home yet. I told him as usual and he disputed me as usual. About an hour later they called and told him all about the baby. All the time he was talking, I was in the living room, yelling "mighty damn funny!!!" When he got off the phone he told me that they had been at the hospital and just gotten home.

After that incident, they started calling him on his cell. Most of the time.

The Time JB Gave Me the Finger

I was once visiting JB and her hubbie EJ with with my hubbie. This would have to be before 2002 as I quit seeing them in 2002. I said something that she didn't like. I do not remember what it was, but it was not something that I expected to be taken in any bad kind of way.

She turned around and gave me the finger!

Sad thing is.... that is not out of character for something she would do. I had seen her do this to others -- esp her hubbie EJ (but I never saw her do it to my hubbie, her beloved son.)

I posted this to the support group and the following are some responses that I got:

• What a classy lady your MIL always sounds..............
  
  
• If my mil did that,i would have whipped out my cell fone and taken a photo or vid and shown it to my dh.Or i would have given her the finger back.But knowing me i would have commented about how low class she is for giving someone the finger for no reason and walked away.
  
  
• NM has done this to me. Usually when drunk but also when sober when she was in a particularly jealous and vindictive mood.
  
  
• Well that was mature.
  
  
• klassy.
  
  
• She's a lady, alright.
  
  
• Lovely woman.

And, Why Did She Call This Time?

Often the posts on the support board lead me to remember things that I have forgotten. One was the text message game.

I remember something about my JB and text messages on her cell phone. Something about she was getting ones that weren't nice, but Hubbie's sister BG had to get them off for her. I asked Hubie, "Well, what was in the messages?" He said that BG only said "you wouldn't want to know."

It was quite a while back and I don't remember now why he told me the messages. He didn't usually tell me anything. I think he was trying to find out if I knew the number that they were coming from, but it was a number in MIL's city and I don't even know anybody in that area. (Yes, I know anyone can get a cell phone in any area, but nobody I knew did that either.) He had tried to trace the online number but I don't know that he found who it belonged to, only what city it belonged in.


After reading this you probably think what I think. MIL gets SIL to read her text messages for her, claiming she can't do it. Hubbie who lives in a different city from either receiver or alleged sender's number gets involved. Messages are supposedly not very nice. Uhhh huhhhhh....

It seemsed like an attention getting ploy to me. It seems staged to me. Why else would she get my hubbie involved? This is so teenage-- just like her other phone games.

Another Phone Game I Remembered

One evening, hubbie and I were working in the garden. While out there, she called his cell phone wanting to know what I wanted, claiming I had just called her and gotten disconnected. I guess I had been going in or out of the house, but we were both in the yard when she called.

But now, I as I think back... (Often everything didn't occur to me at the time it happened) If she really thought I had called, why did she return the call to his cell phone? Isn't it more like she wanted attention from him and couldn't think of anything, huh?

So 15 years old!